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STORY PART
http://www.dragnix.net/Msg_Board/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=591		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  wut2say [ Mon Feb 20, 2006 6:19 pm ]
Post subject:  STORY PART
ok this is from the niddle of a story that im writing give me some input:


"I challenge you to a duel!" Carman looks up at the mighty Garma.

Garma laughs, "Please there is no way that you can beat the almighty at his own game!"Garma looks down at Maryania.

"Tell me child what will you sacrifice for the sake of your companion here?"

Maryania looks over at Carman and laughed, "Nothing!"

Garma looked startled, "nothing?"

"Yes, nothing. WHy should i intrude on a dicision that he has chosen to make? Nothing good would come out of it but pain."

Carman looks back up at GArma, "you hear that? you wont be able to get out of this!"

Garma roars and stretches his wings, "well halfling if thats how you want it to be, then so be it!" and with that he launched his great bulk out of his cave.

Maryania turned to Carman, "are you sure that you want to do this? He is a pue-blood and you are only half his siz e and strength."

Carman smiles, "i'm sure. i dont want to be terrorized by him any longer, besides if all the stories about him are true then what he lacks in brains he makes up for in brawn, and he has a lot of brawn so there must not be a lot of brains in that skull of his."

Maryania hugs him,"just be careful." "i will," and with that Carman took off the pack that hid his own wings and launched into the sky to meet Garma.
Author:  Jishdefish [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 12:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
You need to use paragraphs at every change of speaker...
Author:  Jake [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 1:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
yea jish you should be an english and literature teacher :D
Author:  Aiolos [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 2:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
? That was random. It DOES need to change at every speaker though. And it's a bit confusing.
Author:  Jishdefish [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 4:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well it's in my english book....

I WILL NEVER BE A SELF-CENTERED TEACHER!!!!!
Author:  wut2say [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 7:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
there i made sure u could tell when it changes speaker.......u happy? :?:
Author:  Aiolos [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hmm..I see a copy! Oh, but that's fine! I'm sure J.R.R. Tolkien wasn't the first to come up with 'halfling'. You got it from him, right? It's fine if you did.
Author:  wut2say [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
well halfling is a common term i also read about it in the dragonlance series and the shannara series and.........well there r alot of books with that term
Author:  Aiolos [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
but they aaaall came from Tolkien. Aragorn became a word after Tolkien.
Author:  wut2say [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
so wuts ur point im not the first to use it and no ones been sued over it so im free to use it (and anyway it was a good idea :D ) so stop ur whining!
Author:  Aiolos [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm not whining! I'm just SAYING!! I'm not gonna eat ya just because you used a word from another book! Anyways, stop the conversation....now. I don't want to have a big 'ole fight over a little word such as 'halfling'.
Author:  wut2say [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
i wasnt gonna start a fight that was the last thing i was gonna say about it
Author:  Aiolos [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
goodness. So, uh, nice story.
Author:  wut2say [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
wow that was totally off topic.....good thing chal wasnt here or we would hav ehad one of his famous lectures that only last about 2 words unless u try to counter-act him
Author:  Aiolos [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
I was thinking the same thing....
Author:  wut2say [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
TELEPATHY
Author:  Aiolos [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
:D
Author:  wut2say [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 8:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
:D YAY :D
Author:  Jishdefish [ Tue Feb 21, 2006 11:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Umm... the only thing you needed to do was start a new line each paragraph with an indention.....
Author:  wut2say [ Thu Feb 23, 2006 6:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
yeah i kno but my computer was acting up and all it would do is wut u see now........so u have to deal
Author:  Jishdefish [ Thu Feb 23, 2006 7:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ahh its okay I was just wondering if you knew what a paragragh was.... :oops:
Author:  Neco the Nightwraith [ Mon Feb 27, 2006 2:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Technically with this system of posting, indenting as we know it from word and such is impossible. Everything is sucked back up to the same margin. The best you can do is hit enter twice to give yourself a break in the words.

Otherwise, i think it is pretty good. Will you be posting the rest here? I'm curious about the rest of it.
Author:  wut2say [ Mon Feb 27, 2006 7:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
ummmmm..........uhhhhhhhhhh..................i dont kno i would have to find it cause i think i lost it. if u look at one of the other threads here u will kno that i write down my stiories so sometimes i lose the papers i just now found a story i wrote 3 yrs ago :oops:
Author:  Neco the Nightwraith [ Mon Feb 27, 2006 10:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
I do that all the time, or did rather, before I got my lappy. Now everything goes into it's proper file and is saved, and much easier to upload to the internet if I feel the need to share.
Author:  Jishdefish [ Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Never post too much someone could steal it....
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